A Camping Trip Gone Awry?
by Absurd Toenail
Summary: A random story that I had on my TONFA account Teams 7, 9, and 10 decide to take a small break from the life of a ninja and go on a camping trip...A bit of NejiTen in some chapters.
1. Are we there yet?

Alright, since I didn't get much put on TONFA, I decided to try it out here. So if you see this on TONFA or something, I didn't steal it...it's kay.

Let's see how my awful humor tries out...

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"Nyaaaah...are we there yet Kakashi-Sensei?...We've been walking for hours...and I've seen that rock four times now!" Uzumaki Naruto groaned as his fellow Shinobi passed by him. "How you get your head out of that pervy book and actually WATCH where we're going? I can't trust Gai-Sensei enough." He sighed, kicking a root he tripped on a few seconds ago.

The broom-haired Jounin grunted, and continued reading the newest volume of 'Make-Out Paradise.'

"Don't worry Naruto...we're right on track." Maito Gai grumbled, his face buried into a map.

"Oh Naruto, pipe down and quit complaining!" Sakura said, nearing Sasuke and wrapping her hands around the young Uchiha arm. "Try being more like Sasuke..." She said quietly, blushing as she said the name. "Right Sa-wsk-ke?"

All she got out of the boy was a grunt, a glare from Ino, and a damaged ego. She sighed as he snapped his arm out of her hands, and fell back a bit.

"Does anyone have any more potato chips?" Chouji asked, dropping an empty bag of chips to the ground.

"For God's Sake Chouji, that's the 2nd bag of potato chips you've eaten in an hour!" Ino scolded, turning around to face him. Shikamaru sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Here, you can have mine. I'm not hungry." He said, throwing his lunch at Chouji's face.

Naruto sighed and snatched the map out of Maito Gai's hands, and stopped. "...You had the map upside-down."

"...Oh. Thank you Naruto." Gai said, giving Naruto a pat on the back while his face turned red. "I'll have that back now." He said, trying to get the map back in his possession.

"I don't think so." Naruto said, swiping 'Make-Out Paradise' out of Kakashi's hands and replacing it with the map. The Jounin gasped as he watched Naruto give his book to Gai, then glared at the map with a sigh. "Fine then. Let's make this quick; I was getting to the best part."

Gai shivered as he read a few pages, and gave the book to Rock Lee instead. "Here you go Lee, study the youthful antics of this book."

The young lad gaped at the book, then back at his sensei. "Ababhaut Gai-Sensei!..." He stuttered, trying not to flail his arms around too much. He soon quieted down as his eyes fixed on half-naked bodies and completed a page. He chuckled and continued to the next.

"Kakashi-Sensei, are we there yet?" Naruto sighed, trying to move faster as to keep up with his sensei.

"Don't know, don't care. The first reasonable spot I find is the place we're staying. I. Want. My. Book!" Kakashi said, looking at the bowl-haired youth that was staring at his book with wide eyes.

"Gyaaah! Slow down Kakashi-Sensei! I keep dropping my chips!" Chouji snapped, picking up an abandoned chip he had dropped.

"I think a little bit of exercise wouldn't hurt anyone, chubby." Hyuuga Neji said, walking beside Tenten coolly.

"Dammit, I'm NOT CHUBBY! I'M **PLEASANTLY PLUMP**!!" Chouji snapped back, throwing a rock at Nejis' head. Tenten grabbed Neji's arm as he turned around to face Chouji, glaring daggers.

"Kakashi-Sensei, are we there yet?!...Ow! Watch where you're steppin', Bushy Brows!"

"I'd watch who I was throwing rocks at if I were you Chouji."

"Well, that's what you get for CALLING ME FAT!"

"Shut up Chouji! Can't you see you're annoying Sasuke?"

"Shut it Ino-Pig! Stop talking about Sasuke like he was yours!"

"He IS mine, if you haven't noticed! Right Sasuke?"

"No, he's MINE!"

"Kakashi-Senseeeeeiiiiii..."

The annoyed-out-of-hell ninja dropped the map near a bank, and sat down.

"We're here!"

Everyone stopped their arguing for a moment and took a look at the campsite. All there was to really look at was a few dried up stumps, a little creek, and enough shade to beat the band.

"Holy crap, only took us forever..." Naruto sighed, sitting on a rotting stump. Kakashi watched as Lee sat down a few yards away from him, still reading the book. He crawled over to Lee, and grasped the top of the book.

"Alright Lee, I'll take my book back."

"Wait, Kakashi-Sensei! I am almost done!" Lee said, gripping the book harder.

"You can finish it when I'm done."

"No no no! Let me read just a few more pages!?"

"Gives me the book Lee!"

"Nooo!!!"

Kakashi eyed the book as a tiny rip started to form at at the middle.

"Stop tugging! It's starting to rip!"

"I will stop if you let me finish it!" Lee argued.

Kakashi and Lee just happened to tug on the book at the same time, causing the book to split right down the middle. They both eyed the few pieces of the book that hovered in the air for a moment, then slowly dropped back down to the ground. Lee shrugged, and returned to his sensei's side. Kakashi frantically tried to put the two pieces back together, but with no avail. He sighed, set the torn book on a log, and walked away.

"What were you two arguing about?..." Naruto said, picking up the two pieces of 'Make-Out Paradise'. "Oh, this?" He look at Lee for a moment, then Kakashi. "Humph...weird." Naruto sighed, giving the book a toss. Everyone stared as the two pieces landed in the creek, and was carried away by the current.

Kakashi gasped as he watched the beloved book grew farther from him, and slumped his shoulders. Naruto tried to hold back a chuckle as he stuck his head in the icy cool water right where his book used to be.

"...Oops."

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I hope this went ok...Like I said, my humor SUCKS. TT

Review, if you please. :D


	2. Sticks and Stories

I dunno if anyone likes this story or not, but I'm going to add another chapter for the hell of it. :I

Disclaimer: Naruto and all his buddies belong to Kishimoto. And not me. :D

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Everyone watched as Kakashi slowly took his head out of the water in the stream, dead silent. Kakashi sat on his knees with a sigh. He glanced at Naruto, then Lee, then back at Naruto, then at the spot in the creek where his head and his new volume of 'Make Out Paradise' had been not to long ago. He bowed his head.

Silence.

Naruto squirmed, loathing the deafening silence.

"H-Hey...it's getting pretty dark. Shouldn't we start a fire or something?"

"Good idea Naruto. Start 'r up." Shikamaru said, tossing Naruto a few sticks and resting his head on the back of a log.

Naruto peered at the sticks for a minute, then glared at Shikamaru's foot.

"What the hell am I supposed to do with these?" He grunted.

"Make a fire, you idiot." Neji sighed, crossing his legs.

"How about you make it Neji? It's your destiny." Naruto said, throwing the sticks at him.

Neji glared at him, and tossed them back to Naruto.

"You're the one who suggested it."

Naruto glared at Neji with a 'humph', and stared at the forest ahead of him.

"Don't we need firewood or sumethin'?"

"Good idea Naruto!" Gai said, giving him the 'Nice Guy' pose. "How about you go get some?"

"Nuh-uh! I ain't going in there!" Naruto said, pointing at the woods.

"Yup, how about you go Sakura? An excellent Shinobi like you would find plenty of wood easy!" Ino said, giving Sakura a clap on the back and moving more twords Sasuke in the process.

"No, I'll stay so Sasuke doesn't feel lonely. Why don't you go?" Sakura said sweetly, squashing herself against Sasuke's right side.

"I already told you. I'll stay so Sasuke stays out of danger." Ino said, pressing more against Sasuke's left.

"No, I'll stay, you go! He's only in more danger with you around!" Sakura said, twisting her body around so she could face Ino.

After a few more minutes of pointless arguing between the two, Sasuke got up and stood next to Naruto.

"I'll go, just get me the hell away from these two..." Sasuke grunted, glaring daggers at Ino and Sakura, who frowned at his scowl.

"Aww, I'll go with anyone else, but why _him?_" Naruto groaned, sagging quite a bit.

"I'd stop complaining idiot...unless you'd like to go alone." Sasuke said, starting for the woods.

Naruto sighed, and ran up ahead of him. "Fine, but I'll collect more wood than you, believe it!"

Everyone paused and watched Sasuke and Naruto disappear into the depths of the woods.

"...Does anyone have anything else to eat?" Chouji said, throwing Shikamaru's lunch to the ground carelessly.

"Damn it Chouji, why don't you try saving the rest of us some food?" Ino snapped.

"But Ino, I'm huuuunnngrrry..." Chouji whined. "I can't survive a full day without something to eat..."

"We won't survive either if you pig out on all the food! You've eaten what?...Half of the food supplies already?" Shikamaru sighed, adjusting his head on the log.

Chouji ended the small argument with a sigh, and rested his back against a tree.

"...Now what?" Tenten said, glancing back at the water behind her.

"We could tell a spooky story." Gai said, slapping Kakashi across the back. "How 'bout it Kakashi? This could settle the score between you and me once and for all!"

Kakashi said nothing, only looked at his hands blankly. Gai sighed, and turned to the rest of the young Genin.

"Alright, who wants to go first?"

Not surprisingly, Lee bubbled up with excitement, waving his hand frantically in the air.

"Oh oh oh! Me, Gai-Sensei! I got a story!"

Gai hesitated for a moment, only making Lee's yells more and more frantic.

"...Alright, LEE!" Gai said, finally ruffling the youth's hair.

Lee sucked in some air, and started the story:

"Well, the spookiest thing I have come across in my missions was terrible...My spine chills at the very memory of it!...it was so... creepy... so... scary, SO UNYOUTHFUL! Even Gai Sensei was unprepared to deal with it! We thought about throwing some shuriken or kunai...but we thought it might not be enough to push it to become youthful and energetic! We tried to sing the virtues of SEISHYUN, but it did not budge. We felt so ignored...it was scaring our wits out! so Sensei decided that the only way of injecting youth into it was dressing it with one of our spare jumpsuits...It didn't move. he was the laziest, slackerest, unyouthful-est men I ever saw!" Lee finished, with fire in his eyes. He took a quick look at Gai, who looked quite pale.

Everyone stared blankly at Lee.

"But that wasn't scary!" They snapped at the same time.

Lee shrugged. "Well, it scared ME...right, Gai-Sensei?"

Gai, who was finally restoring some color to his face, nodded.

"It was TERRIFYING Lee. You're a great storyteller."

Lee nodded with a smile, and faced his friends. Neji shook his head.

"What an embarrassment..." He muttered to Tenten, who nodded.

...Meanwhile...

Naruto walked hopelessly in circles, collecting every little twig and stick he could find. he joined up with Sasuke a few minutes later, carrying a handful of sticks; which could only keep the flame lit for a minute or so.

"Alright Sasuke, where are we? Are we lost?" Naruto asked, peering around in the darkness.

Sasuke had lit a broken branch with one of his techniques a little while ago.

"Don't be such a knucklehead...just listen for the yelling." Sasuke said, walking forward.

Of course, Naruto could hear Chouji's pleas for food and Lee's cries, but it sounded quite a distance away. Naruto sighed, and continued on.

After a few more minutes, they finally returned with the sticks.

"Humph. Only took ya long enough!" Sakura pouted, making room for Sasuke to sit next to her.

He did quite the opposite, and sat in a corner all by himself. She shook her head in defeat.

"Alright, now what do I do?" Naruto said, holding the two sticks together while gathering the other twigs in a huge pile.

"Start rubbing those two stick you have in the pile...a fire will start eventually." Shikamaru said, gazing at the cloudy night sky.

Naruto pouted and turned to Kakashi.

"Here Kakashi-Sensei, you make the fire. You haven't done one thing ever since you lost that book of yours." He grumped.

Kakashi got up with a sigh, and began to rub the sticks together.

"Faster, Kakashi-Sensei! It won't light if you're that slow!" Sakura scolded.

Kakashi's face grew more gloomy as he did as she told; the fire eventually sparked up after a few minutes. Everyone huddled around the fire, and started to set up the tents; one for each Team.

Finally, everyone was set up for bed. They said their 'Good nights' and crawled in the sleeping bags.

"...Can I have a midnight snack?" Chouji asked.

All but a few groans were heard, and silence fell on the camp once more.

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Ah, what a great ending.../sarcasm

Yeah, the story Lee told was completely**Hinko Midori no Kemono's** idea, not mine. So I shall give her full credit for letting me use it. ARIGATO HMnK-San!

Alright, tell me what you think. :D 


	3. Caught!

Alright...a few reviews are better than none. Keep them coming, anyway! :D

Disclaimer: Naruto and his friends belong to Kishi. And not me.

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Naruto was having quite a strange dream; it was filled with freakish vampire bunnies, and zombie cows. He was running through a dark, abandoned ally in Konoha, not darking to look up at the thundering sky. No matter what Naruto threw at them, they always seemed to pull themselves back together, and continue ganging up on him. Near the end of the ally, he could see Kakashi standing there, holding 'Make Out Paradise' tightly in his hand.

Naruto shouted his name, hoping he'd hear. Kakashi peeked up from his book, ignored him, and continued reading. Naruto glared at him, and looked back. The zombie cows and vampire bunnies weren't far behind. Naruto looked back ahead with a gasp.

The faster he ran, the slower time fell. The closer he got to Kakashi, the longer the run seemed. Running out of ideas, Naruto threw a kunai at a vampire bunny, sagging as it rebounded off of its head and clanking against a wall uselessly.

Sasuke grunted as Naruto kicked him hard in the shin. He glared at the thrashing boy, who was grumbling about 'Kakashi-Sensei' and 'bunnies and cows'. He rolled his eyes with a sigh, and turned over in his sleeping bag. It seemed to be a useless effort, for Naruto's grunts seemed to be growing louder as time went by. Sasuke glared at Naruto, and clambered outside the tent.

He yawned as the sun just started to rise, turning the sky a purpleish-pink. It was only their first night, and the campsite was already a wreck.

By the smoldering campfire was Chouji. He had demanded food a few hours after midnight and awoke everyone in the camp asking for a little snack. He was eventually silenced by having his mouth duck-taped shut, and thrown into the creek. Everyone's backpacks and such were torn apart, some of the snacks they had brought along were missing as well.

Sasuke's eyebrows rose as the tent beside him shuffled around a bit. Gai and Lee both stumbled out of the tent, stretching their limbs. Gai looked up at Sasuke and smiled, his teeth shining brightly despite the lack of sunlight.

"Ah, Sasuke! Are you here to join us in our morning jog?"

Sasuke glared and shook his head without a word.

Gai shrugged, and turned to Lee.

"Alright Lee, how many miles will we run today? 3 good enough for ya?"

"No, Gai-Sensei! How about 4?"

"Nah, one more won't kill you...How about 5 miles? And we have to make it back here before everyone else wakes up, or it's 300 one handed push-ups!"

Lee's eyes flared up, and gave Gai a youthful salute.

"Yes, Gai-Sensei!"

Gai's smile grew bigger yet, and pointed twords the sun.

"Alright Lee! Run...Run twords the sunset!"

Lee stared at the sunrise, and shook his head.

"SunRISE, sir."

Gai's smiled died down a bit, and chuckled.

"Good observation skills. Another trait of a splendid ninja!"

With that, the two ran off west, leaving a trail of fire behind them. Sasuke shook his head, muttering as he almost tripped over Chouji and headed to the creek. Chouji muttered as he peeked his head up, looking for the source of his disturbed sleep.

"Mwwaaaah!...Hey Sasuke, got any food?" Chouji asked after removing the few straps of duck-tape that was covering his mouth.

Sasuke looked carefully in the stream, and suddenly struck it with a kunai. He pulled out a writhing fish, and tossed it in Chouji's lap.

"Eat up."

Chouji stared at the fish, then back at Sasuke.

"...Anything else?"

Sasuke turned away from the creek, and headed back into the tent with a sigh. Chouji, meanwhile, had started a fire, the dead fish steaming upon a pot.

Sasuke looked down as Naruto finally yawned and sat up, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

"Mornin' Saskay." He mumbled.

Sasuke ignored him and clambered back outside, watching as his other fellow Shinobi came out of their tents, stretching. Tenten came out with Neji, and looked around.

"Where's Gai-Sensei and Lee?" She asked, dreading the answer.

"Jogging." Sasuke said, pointing twords the direction they headed off at. "5 mile run."

She sighed and shook her head.

"Hmm...what a drag." Shikamaru said, rubbing his shoulder randomly.

"I hope you learned you lesson last night, Chouji." Ino said, watching Chouji cook the fish over the fire.

"...What lesson?" Chouji asked, letting the fist set on the pot for a while.

Ino shook her head and walked next to Sasuke, muttering something about 'A hopeless little bastard' under her breath.

Silence drowned the camp immediately after. It was fairly quiet when Gai and Lee weren't there, youthing the place up.

"Now what?" Sakura said.

"We could always look around the place. What's there to lose?" Naruto said as the sky was turning a bright blue. "We can meet here a few minutes before lunch!"

With a shrug, they all started wandering wandering around the campsite, but nobody noticed Neji and Tenten sneaking out of the site, chuckling.

Neji and Tenten were wandering aimlessly around the woods, admiring the nature here and there. Tenten even sucked a laugh out of Neji, which was quite rare.

After a few more minutes of walking, they saw two trees with ivy vines hanging off of the branches, making an arch. The beauty of it all earned a gasp from Tenten, and she dragged Neji through the trees.

The found an oasis; which fit snugly around a circle of tall trees. Right near the small pond was a log, placed conveniently where the view of the oasis was the best and in the shade, Tenten smiled as she walked around, staring at the pond, then the log, then back at Neji. She stared at him as he suddenly _blushed_ and sat down on the log. She smiled as she sat right next to him.

"Beautiful, isn't it Neji?" She asked.

Neji gulped and nodded. He scooted a bit closer to Tenten, summoning his courage.

Hmm. He was a _Hyuuga_. He could take this on, right? Of course.

"Erm...uh...Tenten?" Neji stammered.

"Hmm? What Neji?" She asked, turning her body twords him.

Neji inhaled as he slowly started to form the words with his mouth. Things didn't seem to come out right...

"Tenten...erm...will you be mine? It is your destiny..." Neji finally stammered, not really expecting a negative answer.

Instead of answering, Tenten quickly leaned in and kissed Neji right on the lips. The Hyuuga was quite stunned for a moment, but returned the kiss and closing his eyes. Neji planted his hands on Tenten's waist, making the kiss more passionate and deep.

...Meanwhile, Gai and Lee had stopped not far from the oasis not too long ago to catch their breath.

"...How many miles has it been, Gai-Sensei?" Lee asked, panting slightly and leaning up against a tree.

"5 1/2." Gai said, smiling at Lee, but perked up his head as he heard somebody talking in the distance.

"What's the matter, Gai-Sensei?" Lee asked, looking around.

Gai put a finger to his mouth, silencing Lee. He peeked over a few bushes and up a branch to find Tenten and Neji, smooching in the shade near a log.

Gai beamed, proud by the youth the two were showing. He beckoned Lee over, who climbed the branch next to Gai. Lee smiled and held back a laugh; he knew those two would get together someday.

Right when things were starting to get serious between Tenten and Neji, the branch Lee was setting on began to snap. Startled, Neji and Tenten immediately broke up, looking for the source of the sound. Lee gasped as Neji's eyes fell right where Lee was sitting, and stood up. He gulped as Tenten stood up along with him, starting to search around some of the brush.

Gai saw what was coming and jumped off of his branch, landing like a cat. Lee, on the other hand, was caught. The branch snapped loudly and broke off, Lee falling with a yelp right along with it.

Gai helped Lee up, who was rubbing a golf ball sized lump on his head.

"Run, Lee!" Gai yelped as Neji and Tenten bounded their way over to the youthful duo.

Wow, long chapter. XD

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Tah-dah!...Eh. rate/review, I guess? Tell me how it is! :D


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